A wedding ceremony is a ritual that expresses love and commitment. Every couple has a story to tell, and a personalized ceremony is the best way to do it.

In this article, we will take a closer look at wedding ceremonies, focusing on the magic of crafting individual ceremonies with the guidance of a wedding celebrant, the talented Julia Hierlemann / YOUR LOVE YOUR STORY Let’s dive into the process of creating a ceremony that resonates with your love story, values, and dreams.

Wedding celebrant or marriage officiant?

But first, we have to clear the difference between a wedding celebrant and a marriage officiant to help you understand which specialist best suits your preferences and needs.

Essentially, the difference lies in their legal authority, role in the ceremony, and the level of personalization they provide. Marriage officiants are responsible for legal aspects and often follow established procedures, while wedding celebrants, like Julia Hierlemann, focus on creating personalized and meaningful wedding ceremonies.

A marriage officiant is a person authorized by the government to legally marry couples. They are responsible for completing and submitting the necessary legal paperwork to make the marriage legally valid. They may follow a specific script or set of legal requirements dictated by the jurisdiction in which they operate. The ceremony is often more standardized and focused on fulfilling legal obligations.

A wedding celebrant, on the other hand, is not authorized to sign marriage licenses or legally bind the couple in matrimony. Instead, they focus on creating a personalized ceremony, working closely with the couple to design a ceremony that reflects their love story, values, and cultural or spiritual beliefs. Celebrants have the flexibility to incorporate various rituals, readings, and vows to create a meaningful and customized experience.

Wedding ceremony – there is not one script for all

Throughout history, wedding ceremonies have evolved from traditional, religious rituals to a diverse spectrum of celebrations that mirror the cultural, spiritual, and personal preferences of the couple. We'll look at three of the most popular types of contemporary wedding ceremonies – non-religious or secular, interfaith and free wedding ceremonies.

A non-religious wedding ceremony or a secular wedding ceremony is designed for couples who do not adhere to any specific religious beliefs or traditions. It is often characterized by a focus on the couple's unique story. Usually, the couple writes their vows, expressing their love, promises, and commitment to each other. Additionally, these ceremonies may include readings from literature, poetry, or quotes that resonate with the couple's values and beliefs. If they wish, couples may incorporate symbolic rituals.

An interfaith wedding ceremony is designed for couples from different religious backgrounds who wish to honour and respect each other's faith in their wedding. The ceremony strives to be inclusive of both faiths, with elements like readings and rituals from each tradition to represent the couple's diverse backgrounds. Couples often seek a balance between different customs, prayers, or rituals, ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and respected during the ceremony. An interfaith ceremony may include explanations and educational components to help guests understand the significance of the rituals and beliefs of both faiths being represented.

In a free wedding ceremony, the couple has the creative freedom to design a ceremony that truly reflects their love story, values, and aspirations. It’s a ceremony that focuses solely on the emotional and symbolic aspects of the union. They offer couples the freedom to express their love and commitment in a way that transcends legal formalities and traditional constraints. The ceremony can include personalized vows, meaningful readings, and symbolic rituals deeply significant to the couple. Remember that a free wedding ceremony is not considered a legal marriage. A couple must apply for a civil wedding, which can take place before or after the free wedding ceremony and is much less personal and more bureaucratic. While free wedding ceremonies aren't legally binding, they often hold a special place in a couple's hearts as a genuine and heartfelt expression of their love.

Julia Hierlemann is a wedding celebrant who specializes in creating unique and free wedding ceremonies, providing couples with the opportunity to craft deeply personalized and meaningful celebrations of their love. In addition to her expertise, Julia Hierlemann also officiates destination wedding ceremonies. Destination weddings allow couples to exchange their vows in a unique and picturesque setting, often in a location that holds sentimental value to them.

Wedding celebrant – the one who puts your love into words

Julia Hierlemann is dedicated to helping couples create unforgettable and deeply personal wedding experiences. Her expertise and passion for crafting individual ceremonies are sure to make your wedding day a truly extraordinary and memorable occasion.

It’s a very special skill – to extract the essence of a couple's love story to be celebrated on their special day. When asked how she came across officiating wedding ceremonies, Julia Hierlemann reflects on her journey:

"To be honest - when people ask me this kind of question, I usually start answering with "by chance". Before I started working as a wedding celebrant, I never attended a free wedding ceremony. Growing up in the south of Germany in a Christian family, I was used to mainly Catholic weddings with their clear and fixed structure, followed by certain traditions. But a free wedding ceremony? That was something I hadn't heard of for a long time.

And then there was a time in my life that wasn't easy but filled with a bunch of negative energy. During this time, I stumbled upon free wedding ceremonies and all the options that are available besides the ceremonies you have in the church. I started researching and discovered all the options you have when you choose a free wedding ceremony. The more I researched, the more I got involved in this topic - it never let go of me and I finally decided to develop in this field by attending professional training. This was the cornerstone of everything that followed.”

Several things inspired and continue to inspire Julia Hierlemann as a wedding celebrant:

“It is the focus on the couple – free from all conventions. How did they meet? Who are they? What's important to them? What milestones have marked their journey? How do they envision their wedding ceremony? What works for them? And what doesn't? And from there, you can get creative and design their wedding ceremony.

With that comes the immense trust that my couples place in me. They allow me to get to know them on a very deep level in a very short time – a level that usually takes years to get to know new people in your life. On the wedding day, it often feels like you have known them forever, but, in reality, you have only known each other for about a year.

It is the ability to play with words. To choose the words wisely for my couples, keeping in mind what kind of decision they've made with this step of getting married. To touch my couples and their guests with my words, to make them think, to make them smile and cry at the same time, and to contribute to the beginning of their new stage of life.

There is so much more that inspires me when I begin a new journey with a couple. The above, however, puts it in a nutshell.”

The art of crafting a meaningful wedding ceremony

Julia Hierlemann describes her wedding ceremonies as those for modern couples who also appreciate tradition. When she creates a wedding ceremony, she always puts her couple at the centre and customizes the ceremony based on who the couple is and what their preferences and imaginations are.

“There is indeed a signature style or approach to wedding ceremonies that I have created. Little tools and techniques that I have established help me to get the information I need to create a wedding ceremony speech. At the same time, it helps my couples to make our journey, the possibilities and the structure of a wedding ceremony more tangible. This allows me to work closely with my couples to not only implement my ideas but to incorporate the couple's vision into the entire process, structure and ultimately the wedding ceremony,” she explains.

Let’s take a short walk through the process of how Julia Hierlemann typically creates her ceremonies. When first starting to work on the wedding ceremony speech with couples, she reminds them that a wedding ceremony can be anything they imagine and feel comfortable with. She has conversations with the couple where she asks about their story, wishes, and ideas, and presenting different possibilities to create a rough picture of how the wedding ceremony will be in its setting and process. She also recommends other vendors who can contribute to the ceremony and always emphasizes the special character that live music adds to the ceremony. When writing a wedding speech, Julia pays special attention to the many small details the couple has shared with her during their conversation. In addition, she may contact some of the couple's loved ones to contribute to the speech as well.

Julia Hierlemann always meets with her couples virtually or in person 1-3 weeks before the wedding for one last time before the event. The goal is to go through the final schedule of the wedding ceremony together, imagining the ceremony from the moment it begins until the recessional with all its details. Together with the couple, she identifies if there are any changes to the schedule that she should make, if the ceremony plan feels good and appropriate to the couple, and if she has considered all the people she needs to share the schedule with.

Finally, when everything is approved with the couple, Julia shares the detailed written schedule with wedding vendors (such as musicians, photographers, wedding coordinators, etc.) as well as certain family members or friends (maid of honour, best man, etc.) – anyone who is actively involved in the wedding ceremony.

On the day of the wedding, Julia Hierlemann makes sure to arrive at the venue well in advance of the ceremony. This allows her to go over the ceremony plans with the active participants, such as musicians, to resolve any outstanding issues, test her speaker, double-check the settings, and take a moment for herself. During the ceremony itself, she always makes sure to include both the active participants as well as the guests overall in a natural way.

When asked about handling unexpected situations or last-minute changes on the wedding day, Julia Hierlemann explains that she tries to cover as much as possible in advance by communicating clearly and transparently. However, she admits that there is always room for improvisation. For her, the most important thing is to be aware of that and know that unexpected things can happen. This allows her to deal with unexpected situations or last-minute changes, whatever they may be, and adapt professionally.

Writing personalized wedding vows

In Julia’s experience so far, all of her couples have written their vows. When creating the ceremony, she always finds out if the couple wants to have individual vows, explaining the pros and cons if they are unsure. If the couple is uncomfortable sharing personal vows during the ceremony, she will brainstorm with them about alternatives, such as writing vows and having them read by, say, the maid of honour and the best man, or exchanging letters and reading them silently while a song plays. There are many options and brainstorming with the couple guarantees a great solution for them.

To help the couple write the perfect wedding vows, Julia Hierlemann provides useful information on how to structure the vows and some examples. In general, she asks a few personal questions and encourages the couple to answer them separately. The answers to these questions are a perfect basis for transforming them into personal and meaningful wedding vows.

The final and most important step when writing wedding vows is to speak the word out loud to see if they feel authentic. If it doesn’t sound like you, Julia Hierlemann suggests changing the wording or structure to make it feel personal. She also allows her couples to share their vows with her so that she can read through them, give feedback, and challenge certain parts based on how she has got to know them.

Unique wedding ceremony ideas

Having a free wedding ceremony doesn’t mean you can’t incorporate wedding traditions that hold a special meaning to you. Asking couples if there are traditions in their families or lives is part of the way Julia Hierlemann works with her couples. She believes cultural or religious traditions that fit the couple are perfect for adding a personal touch to the wedding ceremony.

Additionally, Julia Hierlemann shares some ideas for a unique wedding ceremony.

“There are so many ways to add unique or creative elements. However, I am always sensitive to the fact that it has to fit my couple. So before you add a unique or creative element to the ceremony, don't add one if it doesn't feel authentic and appropriate,” she emphasizes.

Keeping that in mind, some unique and creative elements that have been incorporated into Julia’s wedding ceremonies are:

• mothers reading a poem with powerful words;
• another surprise ring for the bride during the ceremony;
• the ring box with the rings passing through the rows of guests while a song played just before exchanging rings;
• vows on letters exchanged during the ceremony and not read aloud;
• the couple putting on bracelets for their children after the ring exchange while a song played;
• children being given tambourines just before the end of the ceremony to celebrate the couple's kiss and the recessional;
• a silent blessing for the couple surrounded by their family and friends while a song played;
• incorporating songs with a special meaning played by the musicians;
• and Julia’s favourite: using quotes that fit the couple’s story and give the whole speech a nice accent.

Wedding ceremony – time to be yourselves

Finally, when the wedding day has arrived, it’s time to exchange the carefully crafted vows and experience the heartfelt emotions – that sounds easy but in reality, there’s always some pre-wedding nerves involved.

Speaking of managing nervousness or emotions during the ceremony, Julia Hierlemann explains that there is always a different way, depending on the couple. Sometimes she talks to the couple before the ceremony, asking them how they are feeling and reassuring them if necessary. She makes sure they have tissues, pauses when she feels they need a pause, and encourages them to take their time with their vows if they are too nervous. The key for her is to interact with the couple in a natural and empathetic way.

The many roles of a wedding celebrant

The role of a wedding celebrant in your love story transcends the traditional roles of an officiant, for they are the weaver of your unique narrative, the pillar of emotional support, and the performer of one of life's most important moments.

Your wedding celebrant is the keeper of your precious story, taking the time to understand the intricate details of your journey together. In the whirlwind of emotions accompanying a wedding, they become your steadfast source of emotional support. With a deep understanding of the significance of the day, they ensure that your journey into matrimony is one of love, comfort, and joy. Julia Hierlemann, as your wedding celebrant, will lead you through this special moment, guiding you with warmth and wisdom.

Author: Renāte Berga

Wedding celebrant: Julia Hierlemann / YOUR LOVE YOUR STORY

Photo: The Saums., Betty & Mario, Katarina Fedora, Lucia Gistl