IIntimacy is not just about sex. Intimacy is not just touching.

The word "intimate" has a much deeper meaning. Letting your loved one in, sharing all your essence. Hearing and being present. Sometimes just being together is much more intimate than making love in bed.

Be together. What do these words mean to you when you think about your relationship? Are you together? Not only physically next to each other. Maybe you spend a lot of time close to each other – you both work from home, spend evenings together – as if together.

But do you see and feel each other with all your senses, visible and invisible?

Your bodies can be next to each other, you can go for a walk, holding hands, but be far apart. Or you can be in a different country, but be intimate and close, feel the other from half-word part and also without words. Feel the nuances, and see not only the consequences but also the causes. When necessary, be present, and when necessary, give the other space. It is also intimacy – to feel and respect each other's need for a moment for oneself. Intimacy arises when we give undivided attention to our loved ones. Watching a movie together is not intimate when the focus is on the movie, and you're just around. You're not together when you go out to dinner and turn to WhatsApp, chatting on your phone, or checking social media. Intimacy and closeness are taken away in such a scenario. You are not here.

We regard sensual touches and kisses as a deeply intimate process – and this is because it is a conscious touch – it is the focus on this moment, on the loved one's skin, on their feelings, reaction, and pleasure. Intimacy is not giving flowers or jewellery with precious stones. Intimacy is an incomparably more expensive gift. The biggest gift you can give to a loved one and also to yourself.

One of the five love languages, introduced by the author Gary Chapman is quality time spent together. The most important aspect of spending time together qualitatively is intimacy. And it doesn't matter what we do – sitting together in the meadow and seemingly doing nothing is time qualitatively spent if we focus on the beloved with all our senses and not thinking of the upcoming work project.

What matters is the feelings that arise when you are truly intimate

And this sense of community and support is one of the most important foundations that make a relationship strong and deep. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Chapman writes that quality time does not mean we have to spend moments together looking into each other's eyes. It means we do something together, and the other person gets all the attention.

It is exciting to try different activities together, be it travelling, attending shows, and then discussing with a glass of delicious drink at home or doing sports – it all enriches your relationship and brings you closer. However, the core of the relationship is in the very moment of being together, in the very essence.

Author: Ieva Krastina

Photo: SYDNEY NOELLE PHOTO,  STORY OF EVE, DARIA ZLATKINA