Models on Instagram have a “perfect figure”, singers are so charming and charismatic, fashionable ladies dressed in designer clothes… But does it mean they are confident and, most importantly, does it mean they are happy?

Not at all.

Just think about how many Hollywood stars have been living in depression for years, how many are deciding to take their own lives, and how many are constantly improving themselves till they don’t look like themselves anymore.

People think you need to look, dress, and even smell great to be confident. Self-confidence does not come from outside but begins within you.

Meretricious things will not change anything until you feel satisfied with yourself and your life.

When we were little girls, we were so confident! We didn't pull in our bellies; we didn't care about messy hair or a dirty dress; we just danced and played. But then we grew up. And part of every person's growth process is self-doubt. We doubt whether we are fit for a dream job, whether we will please the husband's mother. Sitting for hours in a wardrobe that is so full that the door cannot be closed completely, we doubt what to wear today to look good enough. We doubt more and more until all faith becomes ashes. But what do you think would happen if we didn't let the thoughts of others influence us? If we weren't worried about what we look like? If we hadn't lost that self-confidence from childhood? If, at times, when someone says that we are not good enough, thin enough, or beautiful enough, we would find the courage and strength to say: “Have a day you deserve!” What do you think would happen?

Imagine I buy you a car. Whatever you want - red, black, pink with glitter, as expensive as you want and it will be at your door tomorrow. But with the rule that it will be the only machine in your life. What would you do with it if you knew you would never have another car? You'll take care of it, protect it, love and cherish it like never before, won't you? It's the same with you - you have this one life, body, and mind. Why don’t you care? Why do you scorn it, dislike it, and waste it? We all have only one life, and it is a crime to waste it. You deserve the best that life can give to you.

How to regain your "little girl's" unwavering self-confidence?

STRENGTHEN YOUR PROTECTION ANCHORS

Take a piece of paper and write down everything that makes you feel confident. Situations when you act courageous, all the right decisions you made, moments when you feel beautiful, moments when you feel truly aware of your value.

Write down everything you felt in those situations. Write as much as you can! And when you feel bad, take this list and remind yourself that you are a rockstar!

REPEAT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

There are no positive words that can suit everyone, which is probably why pictures with motivational messages found on the internet do not work. You have to figure out the affirmations that resonate with you the most, that are right for you, and that are right for your beliefs and values.

SPEAK WITH YOURSELF

Our words, whether said out loud or just in our heads, shape our emotions. And our emotions shape our world and the way we see ourselves and others. Scold your inner voice; when standing in front of a mirror, it makes you feel incomplete. Would you say to your child all the bad words you say to yourself? Unlikely. Change the way you talk to yourself.

BE THANKFUL

When you are grateful, your fears and insecurities disappear. Stop thinking that your body exists just to look at it. Or worse - for others to look at it. Imagine how much your body can do! Your eyes have seen so many beautiful events! Your hands have loved so many people! Your mouth has tasted the tastiest cake baked by your granny. Your feet have walked with you on roads where others have never been!

Your belly can be home for a little creature! Isn't that incredible? Your body is much more than a "meat" to look at. Be thankful for what it can do!

CHANGE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

Be proud of yourself. Take a deep breath, take confident steps, make eye contact, and smile. Fool your mind: the moment you look confident, you start to feel confident. The longer you do it, the more your mind will believe it.

We are real women; we have unlimited potential. We are beautiful, fun, and great! Isn’t that fantastic?

Dear, all your cosmetic procedures, new clothes, or 1000 likes to your picture on Instagram will not change your life.

Only you can do it.

Author: LIENE URESINA