We’ll discuss the reasons behind the spark between a man and a woman going out and provide recommendations on returning the passion to the relationship.

Often, marriage turns out to be completely different than the couple originally imagined. With time, falling in love and the vivid emotions triggered by hormones gradually subside, and this is only natural. Relationships become moderate, passion is replaced by everyday life, and sex is no longer so colourful and hot. As a result, the lives of spouses can sink into greyness and routine.

How to bring back passion: 5 ways to refresh your relationship

The passion between a man and a woman is very pronounced at the beginning of a relationship when the hormones are high, and the couple is in love. However, the longer the two spend together, the more monotone the relationship becomes, and the butterflies disappear. This is especially pronounced after marriage, the birth of a child, as well as other life changes that require a lot of attention, strength and time from both partners.

The following suggestions will help to rekindle the spark of passion and refresh the daily life of the couple.

1. Together and individually, loving people who are married spend a lot of time together, and this is normal. Many consider love to be true when, after spending a long time together, the couple still feel good and are not fed up with each other. Over time, if a husband and wife spend too much time together, it can, on the contrary, negatively refer to the quality of the relationship. In this case, there is a risk of saturation with each other's presence, love becomes routine, consequently, the couple is looking for opportunities to restore the spark in the relationship.In such situations, it is wise to slightly increase the distance. Try to spend some time apart periodically. The wife can, for example, go on a weekend trip alone, with girlfriends, or with children. The man can devote time to his hobby, meet friends and so on. Actions that help each couple maintain autonomy allow them to stretch one after the other and renew their passion.

2. Time for two. There are cases when the opposite happens, and the spouses become very busy with their deeds and disappear into their world for days, seeing only at bedtime. Such a relationship turns into routine, partners are increasingly distancing themselves from each other. In this case, to restore the passion, it is important to dedicate time to spend together. Go to a movie, restaurant, theatre, picnic, watch a movie at home alone, take a weekend trip in your home country, or go across borders. After a pleasant rest and a couple of glasses of wine, there will be a place to awaken the passion.

3. Care for yourself. Many women, especially those who have been married for a long time, forget about their appearance due to occupations with home tasks and raising children. Excess kilograms appear imperceptibly, and the need to apply makeup and fix your hairstyle moves to the background raises the belief that being at home in shabby clothes and unwashed hair is normal. It is logical that a man then stops seeing her real self in a woman, and loses interest and sexual tendency towards a woman.

Naturally, this process takes place on an unconscious level, but, for a man, the appearance of a woman is extremely important. To return passion to a relationship, it is essential not to forget about yourself. Taking care of yourself is also important if a woman spends a large part of her time at home. It is not about wearing a cocktail dress and red lips every morning – to maintain romance and passion in a relationship, it is enough to be well-groomed.

4. Openness in intimacy. Between two people who are in a relationship, sex occupies a very important place. Over time, it becomes routine, boring, and fiery, and there are even instances when spouses make love on a schedule. To refresh the relationship, it's enough to be open to each other in bed and leave room for spontaneity. If, with spontaneity, everything should be understandable, then when talking about openness, let's exacerbate attention a little. A passion for intimacy helps to maintain the knowledge of your partner so that when you know each other, sex does not become boring. So be honest, don't be ashamed of your desires and fantasies, and don't be afraid to experiment.

5. Don't forget to surprise. Greyish working days, busy with chores, parenting, and other routine duties, tend to be depressing enough. If you want to return passion to a relationship, periodically surprise your loved one. It can be a romantic dinner (also at home, after a long day of work), a spontaneous walk, or a picnic, you can take the children to grandparents and welcome the man home in underwear and so on. Fantasy and creativity in this matter are your main guides, which, with the right approach, are guaranteed to awaken passion between the couple.

Why does passion disappear?

When looking for answers to the question of how to return passion to a relationship, many do not think about the most important thing – what has served as the real reason for extinguishing the spark of passion? In some cases, this can be a combination of several factors, while in others, the cause is something specific. For the passion to return, it is important to highlight the reason why it has been extinguished and try to eliminate it. It is essential for the long-term outcome to focus on the cause, not just the consequences.

The most common reasons influencing the disappearance of passion

• Immersion in everyday life. The uniformity of life quickly or later refers to family life in virtually every couple. Days become similar to each other, nothing new happens, and routine and responsibilities only multiply. In such circumstances, the passion in the relationship fades away. It is important to add a spark to your daily routine to dilute it.
• The birth of a baby. The growth of the family always turns life upside down, husband and wife have to change their habits, their roles change, and something has to be sacrificed. In addition, the baby takes a huge amount of strength and time, so the opportunity to devote undivided attention to each other is greatly reduced. Romance in a relationship can also be lost in this case because, with the birth of a child, the intimacy completely disappears. At first, because a woman needs to recover after giving birth, and other reasons (often artificial) may appear later.
• Complete predictability of tomorrow. After marriage, especially after several years of cohabitation, the couple relaxes. A marriage certificate often becomes an illusion that no matter what happens, you will always be together and survive any misery. Relationships are a garden that needs to be nurtured and watered. Passion and love must be sustained. Because the marriage certificate does not provide any guarantees.

• Internal conflicts. Very often, the passion is extinguished by conflicts. The couple can quarrel, then do not discuss the question and suppress it. Sooner or later, this dish fills up, which negatively refers to the relationship, there is dissatisfaction with each other, and the passion disappears.
• Changes in the external appearance of the partner. Often a man's passion for a woman disappears because a woman stops taking care of herself. She forgets about her body and doesn't care about her hair, clothing choices, and so on.
• Problems with intimacy. In a relationship where a couple lives together for a long time, there is also a change in the sexual plan. With time, sex no longer causes the same sensations as in the beginning, and becomes uniform and boring. It often happens because of a lack of initiative, lack of experimentation, and fear of bringing something new into intimate relationships. In some cases, partners banally do not know how to give each other pleasure because of a lack of openness and trust in the relationship.

These are the main reasons that extinguish the spark of passion in a relationship. But there can be many more. Knowing these reasons and noticing them in your relationship will allow you to take action by addressing and resolving the issue at hand.

Mistakes that affect the disappearing of passion

To revive romance in a relationship is not an easy task. For this reason, it would be more logical to prevent the romance from disappearing in the relationship in the first place. This is possible if we are aware of the main mistakes that affect the disappearance of passion.

• Scandals. Because of a person's temperament, character, or other reasons, when a conflict appears, the couple begins to scandalize. Under the influence of anger, unpleasant words are said. If the couple constantly quarrels and does not express their dissatisfaction in a constructive form, looking for cooperation options, then what kind of romance can we talk about?
• Trying to please everyone. The opposite of scandals is the fear of even the slightest conflict, due to which one of the partners (and maybe both of them) tries to please the other in everything. The thing is that such behaviour does not resolve conflicts, and dissatisfaction only accumulates. If everyone is not clear with themselves and the couple is unable to find the points of contact, it is impossible to refresh the relationship.
• Lack of openness. If the spouses are not able to be honest with each other (and also with themselves), it will be practically impossible to return passion to the relationship. Remember that teamwork is important in relationships. And this is not possible without openness and sincerity. Don't be afraid to discuss problems and speak honestly about any issues, as this is the only way to collaborate and be happy in the long run.

• Lack of confidence in another extremely important aspect, equal to openness. The most striking example of distrust of another is jealousy. As a result, the wife constantly oversees the husband (where he is, with whom when he will come home) and vice versa. With such actions and attitudes, you limit the freedom of the other person. This provides a reason for distrust and conflict. Remember, feelings in relationships are built on trust, and if they are not, then it will be very, very difficult to ignite passion.

These are the most common mistakes in relationships and marriage life that need to be addressed from the very beginning. If you do, there will be no need to worry about how to refresh the relationship and return the passion.

How to maintain the spark of passion in the relationship

A very common question is how to return the extinguished passion, but it is much more effective to take care to keep it alive throughout the relationship. To do this, it is enough to follow these points:

• show love and care for each other;
• feel free to express your emotions and feelings in words;
• don't forget to please each other with gifts and sweet surprises;
• remember gratitude – even for the seemingly insignificant help, it is important to thank the other, emphasizing his importance;
• pay attention to each other, turn away from work, the social networks and everything that interferes with it;
• do not forget about intimate life and the importance of trust and leaving room for something new.

Relationships vary widely and should always be approached individually. Maintain the spark of passion, take care of yourself, and use the suggestions from this article. If you have tried a lot but do not succeed, it is worth contacting a specialist who will help you to clarify yourself and return the passion to the relationship. Do not hesitate to ask a psychologist for help because it allows you to arrange different spheres of life.

Take care of yourself and your relationship, and be happy!

Author: Zane Ozoliņa / relationship mentor